My blog exists to serve middle aged women who have faced a big life change like divorce or separation by readjusting your focus and sharing tips to help you thrive during this stage of life.
I am here for you!
There is nothing that anyone can say or do to fix being a divorced middle aged woman. However, having someone to sympathize with and encourage you to dig out of this mess is powerful. When I hit bottom, I did not have anyone to know or trust with my feelings. None of my friends or family had ever been through a divorce and most of them were afraid that it was contagious or something!
Don’t ignore the importance of this blog. It is powerful to have an outlet. We are stronger together. I need you too. What I need it to feel like all that I went through matters. That it can help middle aged women, even if it’s just one person, from spending one second more in the dark alone.
So, what do you get out of this?
1. Build a community for middle aged women over 40 to redefine midlife and find their joy.
A place of encouragement and support. A place where it is ok to admit today sucked or when you need to vent. Being raw and real can release pent up feelings and frustrations and make room for better things to come. Don’t do life alone.
2. Provide easy to follow guides and lessons to help newly divorced middle aged women gain control of finances.
One of the scariest things I faced when divorcing was trying to figure out how I was going to be able to live but even more, how to afford to raise kids alone. Many times the income is not 50/50 so middle aged women have real fear of how to survive. I found this really great blot that focuses on single mom budgeting. https://www.clevergirlfinance.com/blog/how-to-budget-as-a-single-mom/
- Learn how to balance a checkbook.
- How to track spending.
- How to balance a budget as you go along.
- Learn how to adjust when the budget doesn’t balance
- What a cash envelope system is.
3. Empower middle aged women to get back into society and start living.
Learning how to become social again with keys to stop being awkward and be more socially confident. You just cannot hide from life and expect to be happy. It takes adventures, laughing, and sometimes tears to fully live. To have a balanced life, you must have the good and the bad. Balance is not just one side. The trials make the celebrations so much sweeter.
One of my favorite quotes: “If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”Dolly Parton
The hardest step is the first one. Push yourself out of the door and join a group, take a class, anything that puts you around new people. You will be surprised that there is always someone else there who is new too. Just look around! Nothing bonds friends like shared experiences like starting something new together. Middle aged women are stronger together, just ask any man!
I remember about a year after my divorce I was sick and tired of myself. I had really isolated myself with the exception of my kids and my mom. So, a coworker told me to join an adventure group that our local radio station hosted. I did and the first meeting I was a mess. After spending an hour trying to decide on what to wear, makeup, hair…to the point that I looked like a wreck of frizz and frump.
I was spiraling out of control and ready to give up when it hit me that I have nothing to loose. Why not give it a chance, I was already miserable.
So I went. Got there late. Missed the dinner because I got lost. They were finished eating but headed to the small sunset cruise and encouraged me to go. I had a ball! One of the ladies I sat beside told me it was her first time too.
We chatted and by the end of the cruise I had 3 new friends who were also single, all different ages, all trying to get back on their feet. We planned to meet up again at the next function and from there life got sooo much better!
That was a turning point for my life. No matter what happened, it was better than sitting at home! The first step is always hard, but you CAN do it!
4. Help Gen X & Baby Boomers to find work/life balance.
Early on, I had to use credit cards to move, to pay deposits, to fix anything that broke. Not the best plan but since I didn’t plan for divorce, I didn’t have time to prepare. Each month it got a little harder to made things work until it just quit working. I didn’t have enough money at the end of my month so I got mad. I got mad and went to work. A LOT. For three years, I worked all of the time. Two, sometimes three jobs, just to get some traction on my debt.
It helped but it took a toll on me. I was exhausted, stressed, and gaining weight. Overall, working just wasn’t working anymore. I had to start learning to balance work and life to keep my mind and body healthy. I had to cut back on work, get out and do things with friends or family, and allow myself to simply relax at times. Remember, as middle aged women and Moms we are teaching the tiny humans by example. They will mirror you. What are the kids seeing from you?
Finding a tribe of middle aged women to embrace life with was transforming to me. They encourage me to date, laugh when things go sideways, and pick me up when I fall. I never feel the need to find just anyone because I am already having so much fun at middle age!
5. Encourage middle aged women to take time to love themselves.
Finding time for self love seems crazy but any mom can tell you 30 minutes in a hot bubble bath and a glass of wine can solve world peace! Relaxing your mind and body allows vital blood to flow freely to all of your organs, even your brain.
Learning how to develop habits to have good self care will help every part of your life. Find small daily things that bring you joy..a great cup of coffee or maybe a face mask while you watch your favorite show. Why is it so hard to make time for yourself? Do you feel unworthy? Selfish? Develop good self talk to remind yourself that you are growing, getting stronger every day. Be unique and own it. Women at middle age have so many opportunities now to learn and grow.
Conclusion: I feel like middle aged women in transition are struggling to find their place in a new life when nothing is as planned. My deepest desire is to bring those women together to encourage and inspire each other. This is not MY blog, it is OUR blog. Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys…we have untapped resources and unappreciated strength just waiting to bust out!
Thank you for taking your valuable time to check this out! I am Terri, your cruise director. Please say hi and let me know how I am doing!